Now put your hands up!

It is only 11AM and I have already run out of work to do at work. I have begged (ok so I just asked) all of my co-workers for projects to keep me busy so I don’t have to sit and stare at my computer screen for the next 6 hours but, alas, there is nothing to be done. Unfortunately there isn’t really much for me to update you guys on because my life isn’t very exciting but you don’t mind, right? I mean, there are two reasons why you are reading this post 1) you are also bored or 2) you want to know whats going on in my life… well I guess thereis also 3) you are obsessed with me- but that only happens to like 50% of the people I meet.

Let’s start at the top. I was just telling my boss about my plan to get braces (more about this next) and he politely stated that I don’t need braces. This would have been nice if he would have just stopped there, but of course he couldn’t. He followed that by saying, “do you know what the word ‘toothsome’ means?” and I restrained myself from rolling my eyes (he is a big fan of vocabulary lessons) and shook my head “no”, he then proceeded to tell me that toothsome means very beautiful and that I am very toothsome. I’m going to give you a moment to let the awkwardness of that statement sink in.

Moving on.

Braces. I’m getting them. Not the sleek invisalign kind either, we’re talking full on metal mouth. for TWO YEARS. Just what I always wanted, adult braces. Apparently my teeth are just too jacked for invisalign so I have to have two teeth pulled and metal braces put on for 22 months. I’m trying to embrace the braces, telling myself that I will rock em like there’s no tomorrow. Even have a little fun with the rubberband colors- maybe do a little hot pink, Clemson colors for football season, green and red for Christmas etc. etc.- but I feel like that might throw people off when I’m trying to get my drank on. I think this also means that I will likely be single for 2 more years. whateves.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II was awesome, I cried for like the entire last half of the movie. I saw it in IMAX 3D, which was probably the best idea I’ve ever had, sorry for all of you commoners who saw it in regular 3D or, god forbid, “2D”. I need to go back to Harry Potter world. it’s necessary.

Speaking of trips, I’MGOINGONONE. My mother and I are looking to book a cruisey mccruiserson for sometime in November (post braces, can’t wait) to go to Jamaica and the Cayman Islands. Jealous? YOUSHOULDBE. I’m pretty positive I’m going to hang out with a dolphin this time. I mean it seems necessary.I hung out with sharks in the Bahamas last year, this year I should keep it real with a dolphin. Mom (I know you’re reading this), you’re going. you will ride on a dolphin.and you will like it.

Lastly, boys are stupid. I’m over them. I stumbledupon these “rules” set forth by the always uplifting  book “He’s Just Not That Into You” that I thought were pretty good:

1. I will not go out with a man who has not asked me out first
2. I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone
3. I will not date a man who isn’t sure he wants to date me
4. I will not date a man who drinks or uses drugs to an extent that makes me feel uncomfortable
5. I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable
6. I will not date a man who is afraid to talk about our future
7. I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me
8. I will not date a man who is married or in any kind of committed relationship
9. I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person

We’re all guilty of wasting our time on these types of people aren’t we? I mean let’s face it, it’s hard to be single sometimes and it can feel like dating someone who fits into one or more of these types is better than being alone when you really know it isn’t. I admit to being guilty of that from time to time myself, and I’ve been especially guilty of that here in Durham due to my lack of available friend, but no more! I’m sick of wasting time on guys who clearly just aren’t that into me (must be blind/crazy) and am going to work on being happy alone.

That was a huge diversion from what I initially planned to write this blog about, but I hope you got as much inspiration from the “rules” as I did. Lamely, I have “single ladies” stuck in my head hence the title of this post. I apologize.

Now, back to work! maybe.

 

 

Advertisement